Megan is Moving to a New Blog; or, the State of Affairs
Hi, guys! For personal reasons (which I will post below the cut because I’ve had to tell the story a lot lately and I’d like to get it in one go), I’m moving to another blog. I will still be posting the crap I normally do (pictures of my face, liveblogging of my life, Avengers flails, Sherlock, Merlin, etc.).
You are absolutely welcome to follow me there, but I will not be posting the URL here for reasons pursuant to the below situation.
If you want the URL of my new blog, like this post and I will drop it in your ask or submit.
Thank you to the twelve lovely people who have already followed me over. I hope to see some more of you there!
The situation is this:
Two months ago, a famous bookstore reblogged something of mine. I went into hysterical flails. I made the mistake of posting on Facebook that [name of bookstore] had reblogged me, and it was from there that a friend of mine apparently scanned through their posts and found my blog.
My blog’s interaction with the real world is very limited. There are six people from ‘real life’ who follow me here, and most of them are basically only Tumblr friends anyway because they live far away/we don’t hang out often/etc. The sixth and I have a rule that he can lurk on my blog, but may not communicate with me via Tumblr, precisely because I need my blog to be a ranty, no-holds-barred sort of place.
I’m really paranoid about people finding out my URL. This friend who found my blog—I didn’t link him to Tumblr posts, and when I did I picked a random person who had reblogged the same thing. I’ve gone to great lengths to keep it from him, but he found it anyway.
A couple of nights ago, I saw a movie with him and another friend, and was angry with his reaction to my criticism of its lack of strong female characters. I came home and made a post about The Avengers, a movie which fails the Bechdel Test but gives us strong female characters nonetheless, and at the beginning I said he usually wasn’t such a misogynist asshole.
People may say I was wrong to do that. I’m of the opinion that given a reasonable expectation of privacy, with no identifying characteristics beyond ‘a friend’, a rant of that sort is acceptable. I don’t think he’s an asshole (well, I didn’t before this), and I still don’t think he’s misogynist. Yet for whatever reason, he chose the next night to check my blog, and made a blog himself so he could respond to that post. (NOTE: people have asked me for his URL. I am not going to give it out.)
Some not-very-nice-times ensued—I don’t want to be accused of trying to garner sympathy, so I’ll summarize with ‘I had a panic attack.’ I didn’t know how long he’d been peeking at my blog, and I have posted about him some things that I would prefer he not see.
The important part of this is that I can’t simply ask him to stay out, due to what I consider such a terrifying, long-standing violation of my privacy and trust; nor can I change my URL, because he created a blog of his own to reply and thus my URL will always be linked there, even though I blocked him.
So I have to create a new blog. I’m going to lose a lot of followers—not that I care about numbers, because it’s never been about that, but I care about all of you as people. Because people I greatly admire had followed me on this blog, and I’m not sure they’ll carry over.
I’ll miss this URL and this blog a lot. I can’t say how traumatic this has been. It just really, really sucks to lost a friend like this, and a lot of people have been holding my hand through it all. Thank you for putting up with all of this drama, and whether you choose to follow me over or not, I’ll still love you.
I feel the need to say something else—this is the second time someone has had to abandon their blog recently. The other person is a very dear friend of mine, but she felt she couldn’t continue blogging even with a different account.
If you don’t link people to your blog, they have no right to search for you and blame it on the Internet being a public place.
You have a right to a safe haven, free from judgment. You have a right to post your opinions, even if you don’t believe them in the morning. You have a right to yell at your parents and your friends and celebrities and random strangers in your blog. You have a right to privacy, and if that is violated it is not your fault. There is nothing shameful about self-expression when appropriate safeguards are taken to make sure people are reasonably incapable of seeing what you say about them.