My Tumblr Family Tree
"Megan is shipping me with a fork, there are lots of Wilcroft feelings going around, I may or may not be disowning Maddie, and if you attempt to start a food fight at our kitchen table you will be grounded." —T
Welcome to otp: get the tranquilizer gun. Enjoy your stay.
Me, as described by Malia: ‘hello my name is megan i am a biguous sexuality unicorn also i have a family on tumblr i ship gay men and portland is cool.”
My wife: T. The sweetest member of our family, except perhaps for Bug.
My children: Madison, Ellie, Becca, Carey, Starkidd, and Bug. They have a pretty typical sibling relationship. Starkidd knows what buttons to push, and Maddie flails in response. After Maddie starts flailing, Ellie says something asshole-ish and Carey jumps in, either to defend Maddie and be mean back to Ellie, or say something just as assholeish. This may lead to Carey and Ellie screaming at each other while and then finally both of us realizing the other is not going to budge and then they’ll go back to bugging Starkidd and Maddie. And the whole time Bug is just being cute watching Disney movies. Bug is a bit intimidated by the Maddie-Starkidd rivalry, and often hides in her blanket fort when they’re shouting. Starkidd is absolutely focused on corrupting her. In her own words, “Somebody told me I act like Rapunzel and look like Cindy Lou Who.” Becca came to us anonymously, in a basket amongst the reeds, and has fit in ever since.
Carey’s daughter, Madi. Madi is my first grandchild and my most loved. She’s beautiful and courageous and everything we could hope for. She makes us proud every day.
The godmother: Jessie. Even though T and I already spoil the kids horribly, she helps out as well (she’s basically our partner in crime) and lets them stay up far later than they really should.
My sister: Julia. I really have no idea why she likes me, but she does, and she’s a fantastic aunt considering that T and I are kind of horrible parents at times.
Julia’s and my parents. Kara and Rachael are without doubt the best parents in the bunch. Kara is the sweetest person (well, tied with Bug) and is always ready to cuddle with a blanket, and Rachael is the absolute best person to share the most intense feels with, because she will flail right back at you.
T’s sister: Meg. T and Meg and I became really close, even before the kids came. She acts more like their sister than their aunt, probably because she’s T’s younger sister. Really, I’m starting to question whether anyone in this family has parenting skills whatsoever.
The cousin: Sarah. Meg’s daughter. She terms herself ‘the awkward cousin who spills lemonade all over herself and accidentally sits on a bug at the family reunion.’ This was before she knew of Bug. We’re all concerned for Bug’s safety. Bug, in her own words: ‘I’ll be that three year old running around in a football helmet that’s way too big for my head! I’ll cover it in glitter and princess stickers, that way I’ll be pretty and safe from any lemonade-covered cousins that come my way!’
The kitten: Margaret. She started out as the family cat, but she’s become Starkidd’s more and more as time has gone on. She helps him prank Madison without remorse and sometimes she sits on his shoulder like a parrot. She is unamused with your attempts to feed her so-called ‘cat food’.